"I Didn't Have Polio, But I Did Need to Have an Enema"

Oh man. You know when you read a book years ago and you just can't stop thinking about that book? Well, I was at St. Vincent de Paul's in Eureka last week where they have books at 3 for $1. I bought Forrest Gump, The Witches and Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man.
Many years ago, when I was just a lass in the San Fran Bay Area, I found and read Daisy Fay and then gave it to my best friend Lisa with a "you NEED to read this, you will love it". Soon afterward I moved to the Mojave Desert and never saw Lisa again (well, there was this one time in Mexico, but it's a long story). I gave in to the fact that I would probably never see the book again. Yes, I'm being dramatic, but it really is a great book. I've looked. I've been to libraries and thrift stores but it wasn't until last week when I finally found it again.
A very brief summary:
Daisy Fay is precocious and lives in the South, her dad is a drunk, her mom is high strung. They move to the beach to open a malt stand, a lot of adventures and misadventures occur. She grows up she wants to be an actress, there is a happy ending.
Written by Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay is allegedly autobiographical. Flagg also wrote Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, and you can see that a lot of the characters from Fried Green Tomatoes are influenced by characters in Daisy Fay's life.
I highly reccomend this book. I'm trying to get H-man to read it right now but I mistakenly convinced him it was a little girly in some parts (which is only mildly true).

Back in St. Olaf.....

I watch The Golden Girls. I watch it a lot. I watch it so much that H-man and I randomly burst into the theme song throughout the day. I watch it so much that our baby is going to be consoled only by the sound of Bea Arthur's voice saying "Shut up Rose".
I have some opinions on the show, particularly about the various guest characters. Man are some of them jerks, hypocrites and just plain mean. For example:

#1Chick Vennera as Pepe/ Enrique Mas-

This guy makes a couple of appearances, once in season 4, and twice in season 5. In season 4 he plays "Pepe" a prize fighter that Sophia invests in in order to raise a great amount of money for the household. Pepe is portrayed as a blood thirsty animal who only cares about killing his opponent in the ring. He's dumb as an ox, can barely speak English (or any language for that matter) and appears to be shoe-in for the prize. The night before the fight, Pepe goes missing, and the girls follow his trail to an abandoned warehouse where they expect to find some kind of distasteful happenings occurring. But, they were wrong. Pepe is practicing his violin in order to prepare for his audition for Julliard. He scolds the women for assuming he was just a mindless killing machine (although that's how he portrayed himself) and claims that Anglos see a Hispanic man and buy into the idea that they are dumb and useless, again, exactly as he was pretending to be. The next day Pepe gets punched in the head at the fight and can't remember the violin piece he was to preform for the Julliard people. Instead he delivers a soliloquy he had berated the ladies with about how he's Latino and Human at the same time. As you can imagine, he gets accepted to Julliard.
But here's the kicker: Mr. Vennera returns in season 5. Not as Pepe, no, as Enrique Mas. Rose's prejudice and overbearing boss at a consumer report television show. After all his diatribe about being interchangeable and not seen as an individual, Pepe returns as a completely different character! Deceit! Hypocrisy! Que Horrible!

#2 Ann Francis as Trudy-

Oh Trudy. You horrible woman! Dorothy's best friend from high school is in town for a high school reunion. The pair have been competitive since forever, playing pranks on each other and and the such. After they reunite and fling insults at each other, the pair decided to play a "friendly" match of tennis. During the match, Trudy drops dead, but the fun is only beginning. At the school reunion that evening Dorothy tearfully admits to her fellow alumnus that Trudy died that morning during an especially vigorous match of tennis. Dorothy feels that it is all her fault and decides to retire to her room inconsolable. While the other girls try to think of ways to make Dorothy feel better, someone makes a grand entrance that changes everything. Trudy had faked her own death to play a joke on Dorothy and is ready to enjoy the party. What a bitch! Rose, Blanch and Sophia make Trudy go to Dorothy and apologize but when they go back to her room, everyone is in for a big surprise. Dorothy is in bed with Trudy's husband, Jack. Ha! Of course this all ends up being a big joke on Trudy, because let's face it, who would sleep with Dorothy?

#3 Herb Edelman as Stan Zbornak I hate to admit it, but I have special place in my heart for Stan. Despite him being possible the biggest douche in Miami, down deep he is sweet, sympathetic and cares about Dorothy very much. That being said, this character is the most decietful, coniving, sex-driven (even more so than Blanch) character to appear on the Golden Girls. Dorothy and Stan were married for 38 years and as Dorothy says he was cheating on her for 39 of those years. He left Dorothy after all this time for a flight attendant, but like with all his relationships and business ventures he falls on his face.
Stan takes Sophia to a baseball game where she gets hit on the head with a ball, Stan tries to milk it for all it's worth and ends up losing money in the end. Stan informs Dorothy that he was lying about his taxes for the entire time they were married and now Dorothy is in trouble with the IRS. Stan tries to convince the girls to give him $1000 each at Christmas time to invest in a plastic vomit company, this of coure is a lie, he was jsut trying to get some cash to make it through the Holidays. He remarries succssfully to a very nice woman only to come on to Blanch and Dorothy continuously. Stan takes the cake, has sex with it then dumps it for a younger cake.

The Cat

Stella the Cat and I have done a lot of bonding over the past month and a half that H-man has been gone. Mostly this involves a lot of cuddling and purring and laying on my lap and sniffing my forehead ( I really don't know what that's about).
However, not everything is so sweet. She sleeps in the bedroom with me, either on my shoulder or on the bookcase between the silver candlesticks and shark jaw. Her food is in the room also. This is set up so I don't have to leave the bedroom door open at night because, quite honestly, I'm afraid of the dark and the dark living room is the darkest part of the house. Each night I make sure to fill her food and water ( I don't know why, she only drinks out of the fish tank anyway). She eats her food before she lays down with me, then we cuddle and fall asleep to the Golden Girls or Seinfeld or something. Then it happens.
Every Morning. 5 a.m. She starts The Meow.
"Meh. Meh. Mah. Mah. Mah. Mah. Mow. Mow. Mow. Mooooowwwww. MEooooooooowwww. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Mahhhhhhhhhhhh. MOW, MOW, MOW, MOW, MOW." says Stella.
"Shush. Shush. Stella! Stella! Stella! NO, NO, NO, NO! SHUT UP! " Says me.
Until recent she did her routine from the bookcase, and would quit pretty quickly also. But not anymore. This week she has begun to climb onto the bed and stare at me. Then she climbs onto my side, and plants her face in my face, purring, then meowing. All this time I have been pretending to sleep, believing that if I give in and feed her right away she will begin to control my life. It's gone way past that now. Last night she climbed onto the windowsill above my head and jumped down onto my head for 15 minutes strait. I gave in. I had to. The cat has won.

cat wants food, cat gets baseball bat, - Watch more Funny Videos

A Funny Thing Happened at the Bus Stop

Seeing that I spend a great deal of time at bus stops, especially bus stops around Eureka, I really shouldn't be surprised/disgusted/bemused by all the weird things I see.
For example:

• A drunk, shirtless guy belting out country music in front of his house at 7:30 a.m on a Wednesday in February.
• A car that reeked of death pulling up and dropping off a woman and her son. "Are you sure I can't take you all the way home?" the driver asked the woman, then as he drove away the woman turned to me and asked if I smelt something funny. I said "yes, it was that guy's car, it smelled like death. " She stares at me and murmurs "oh, oh God"
• A man on the bus dropping his burrito and then yelling "FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!"
  
• A homeless man rummaging through the trash can next to me, pulling out a nearly empty vodka bottle, draining it into his gullet then storming off screaming " I'm NOT crazy! What do you think I am, STUPID?!?!"
• A man doing a series of stretches while wearing cowboy chaps and smoking a cigarette.
  
• People lighting joints at the back of the bus, then staring down everyone around them.
• The dirtiest woman I have ever seen. Cankles encrusted with grime, holey sweatpants, desperately attempting to glue a cigarette back together with her own saliva.
  
• A woman with her child. The child screaming, the mother screaming at the child, the child screaming back at her.
  
• A 15 year old boy hitting on a much older woman. "I'm experienced with ladies, I know how to treat a lady right"
• Two girls talking about narrative devices: "so when a movie shows something that symbolizes what is going to happen in the future that's like called forshowering right?" "yeah, forshowering."
• "people who go to the (local community college) are really dumb and ignorant, I know how to work the system" "So what school do you go to?" "(local community college)"
• A couple dressed up in mardi gras clothing pulled up and asking me where a certain hotel is.
  
• A homeless man coming up and asking for change. " Sorry, no change, all I have is my bus pass" says the man next to me. Next he asks me "Sorry, all I have is my bus pass too" He rolls his eyes and then starts to yell at me about how all he wants is a little change so he can buy a coffee. The bus then comes and the man in front of me pays in cash, I pay with my bus pass.

I really could go on forever. But I won't.

Pet Peeves

• When people drive around the totem pole at Safeway like it's a roundabout. It isn't a roundabout. It's a totem pole.
  
• When people open a carbonated beverage then leave it open in the fridge as so it loses it' s carbonation.
• When I am invited over to someone's house at a specific time and when I get there exactly on time they aren't home yet.
• When I'm listening to headphones at the bus stop and a someone tries to start a conversation with me.
  
• Everything in general these days.
  

Dickissels and Migrating Turds

Birds From CA-->NM
(* denotes a lifer bird for me)

Red-Shouldered Hawk
American Crow
European Starling
White Crowned Sparrow
House Sparrow
Common Raven
Turkey Vulture
American Robin
Stellar's Jay
Black Phoebe
Rock Pigeon
Scrub Jay
Common Merganser
Western Tanager*
Bald Eagle
Hairy Woodpecker
Northern Flicker
Mourning Dove
Barn Swallow
Canada Goose
Brewer's Blackbird
Mountain Bluebird*
Red-Winged Blackbird
Black-Billed Magpie
Great-Blue Heron
Yellow Headed Black Bird*
Eared Grebe
Pie-Billed Grebe
American Coot
Great-Tailed Grackle
Black-Necked Stilt
Red-Necked Phalarope
Canvasback
Ferruginous Hawk*
Golden Eagle*
Western Kingbird*
Eurasian Collard-Dove*
Western Meadowlark
Prairie Falcon*
Cliff Swallow
Brown-Crested Flycatcher*
Indigo-Lazuli Bunting Hybrid*
House Finch
Curve-Billed Thrasher*
White-Winged Dove*
Spotted Towhee*
Northern Cardinal
Western Bluebird*
American Dipper*
Hepatic Tanager*
Gamble's Quail*
Mallard
Dusky Capped Flycatcher*
Northern Mockingbird*
Red-Tailed Hawk
Greater Roadrunner
Mexican Jay*
Pinyon Jay*
Bendire's Thrasher*
Black-Headed Grosbeak*
Acorn Woodpecker*
Yellow-Eyed Junco*
Wild Turkey
Elegant Trogon*******
Black-Chinned Hummingbird*
Magnificent Hummingbird*
Blue Throated Hummingbird*
Say's Phoebe*
Painted Red-Start*
Ash-Throated Flycatcher*
Black Throated Sparrow*
Hooded Oriole*
Bronzed Cowbird*
Swainson's Hawk*
Canyon Towhee*
Lesser Nighthawk*
Killdeer
Gila Woodepecker*
Gilded Flicker*
Harrier Hawk
American Goldfinch
Western Gull
Ring-Billed Gull
Dark-Eyed Junco
Total Species:84

Onward to the Land of Enchantment

H-man and I just returned from our yearly spring time road trip. In the past we have driven in my trusty/rusty old jeep heap to such exotic locales as Houston Texas, Portal Arizona, Las Vegas Nevada, Lake Tahoe California, Ashland Oregon, and wonderful Silver City New Mexico.
This year we returned in our newer, much trustier Neon to our favorite town in New Mexico-Silver City, to visit H-man's parents and to soak up some much needed vitamin D. On a side note we also used this trip to get in some quality birding time and to spend some much needed time together before H-man leaves Humboldt for his job as a Forest Service employee in other parts of the state that aren't here.
We left Humboldt Friday the 16th of May and drove across the state into Nevada ending up in Ely Nevada much later that night. Not that we planned to drive so dang much, but, a lesson was to be learned. We intended to stay in Eureka Nevada, 144 miles to the west of Ely. " How clever we are" we chuckled to ourselves as we approached Eureka Nevada "to leave from Eureka California and end the day in Eureka Nevada, my aren't we smug?" FAIL. There were no hotels with vacancies in either Eureka Nevada or Austin Nevada, a mere 77 miles away. So we drove on, and on. Arriving at the most beautiful hotel I have ever seen in my life in Ely Nevada. And by beautiful I of course mean that it had a bed and it had a vacancy. I may have frightened the poor man behind the counter a little with my delirious gratefulness I was so happy.
Lesson learned: when you are intending to drive across the vast emptiness of Eastern Nevada, make sure to get hotel reservations. And also, drive the speed limit in Eureka Nevada at night, even if it is 12:30 a.m. The local fuzz just won't stand for 35 in a 25 zone, even if you and said officer are the only people insane enough to be out.
The next day H-man took this photo:
Onward! We stated loudly and to each other stopping only for birding and the occasional pee break. Peschoe Nevada was our first town stop along the way, mostly a ghost town but very beautiful and atmospheric.
the sign at the bottom right says "Been Closed for 50 years"
Very shortly after that we stopped at Cathedral Gorge just out of town. It took me a few minutes to realize that I had visited the gorge many years before when I was living in Needles. My mother and her boyfriend had brought me there while we were visiting the town of Panaca for a highschool football game. I was thrilled once I realized this because I had been amazed at the beauty of the place when I was there 12 years ago and had always wanted to go back but could not remember where this place was. Serendiptious defined.

We spent some time walking in the gorge and reveling in the beauty before we finally had to leave. But not before confusing some random people: As we left the gorge up a staircase, out of breath we passed a couple at the top.
"Is it neat down there?" the woman asked H-man, who was panting
" No, not too much" he replied thinking the woman had asked if there was "heat down there"
"Oh, just the walk then?" she asked looking pretty confused or bewildered
" uh yeah" He looked at her like she was crazy, the look was returned.
So after doing our daily job of confusing people we were on our way again. It was only a short drive to Utah from Panaca.
So there was only one reason we wanted to go through Utah on our way. Not because of it's natural beauty and the friendly people, shit no. We went because we wanted to see FLDS polygamists. H-man has been interested in the culture for several years now and since we had the chance this trip to make our way to Hildale/Colorado City we took the opportunity.
I insisted on stopping through Zion National Park on the way however where we saw our first rattlesnake of the trip-a Western Diamondback as well as some gorgeous natural features.







We made it St. George that afternoon, where we got a hotel, then drove the 1/2 hour out to the site. I didn't get any pictures from that evening but we went back the next day





All the houses are huge and everyone just wants to be left alone. That would pretty much sum up my view of the town. The bulletin board above was posted at the town's grocery store. It was selling rabbits, jeans, cell phones and machinery. We saw very few people when we returned the next day, but the evening before we had seen a very beautiful young girl in the typical dress, except she was wearing jeans underneath it. We also saw a lot of people with cell phones and a lot of cars, many with their windows tinted. We stopped for a spell at the local UEP park where everyone jumped in their vans and trucks and sped off.
An observation: the FLDS wants so much to be disincluded from American tradition and edicts in order to live their own lives and follow their own beliefs. I struck me, however, how much their lifestyle resemble, at least to me, the stereotypical American dream: a home of your own, a close knit, hardworking community and family life, clean living and faith.



After our foray into alternative lifestyles we went on to Silver City via Flagstaff and Springerville. We reached Silver much later than we thought we might, mostly because of our stop at House Rock Arizona and a dinner stop in Flagstaff.


At Silver City we spent quality time with the parents, seeing the local sights, hiking, geocaching and birdwatching. It was wonderful to spend time with them and visit our favorite areas of New Mexico and Arizona.
Then we had to return. We came home through Southern California, Blythe, Needles and Bartsow to be specific. Then up through San Francisco to vist my side of the family, and then home. It's good to be back but I sure love these trips. Visiting religious extremists, confusing tourists, frightening hotel owners and reminding ourselves that there really is no place like Humboldt County. That's a good vacation right there.