Have you ever had a moment where you want to say to someone,"I knew this was going to happen" or, in similar context "I told you so"?. If you are married or in a long term relationship, especially with a man, than I'm sure this rings familiar.
I love my husband. We have a very strong bond that neither time or anti-glue agent could disband. But, forgive him, he is a boy, and sometimes he is unaware of dangers and concerns that only a highly neurotic new mother is aware of. Case in point: The Truck.
We bought the Truck a few months ago and despite a mechanic's assurance that the Truck was in excellent health, last week we had to replace the head gaskets, which costs a few thousand dollars, shitty, to be modest.
Today we tried to take the truck up the mountain to visit a very beautiful place where H-Man works and where he wanted very much to show his wife the aforementioned beauty. I thought, and gently suggested that perhaps, since we just got the head gaskets replaced, that maybe we shouldn't drive the truck into the wilderness, perhaps we should drive it around our neighborhood and see what happens.
I don't think I need to narrate what transpired.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Ahi Burger and Earthquake
Today is what someone may refer to as a "full day".
I woke up this morning with a Jonesing for a breakfast at the rustic, small, biker infested hollow known as the Kirkwood Inn so HMan, The Baby and myself made the hour long trip up the mountain, talking about our very vivid dreams involving killer whale shows and hunting John Wayne across the Texas landscape armed with only a Robin and a bad attitude.
At the Inn we took a seat at the only family friendly seat available, a booth for 10 people. We decided to share the tuna melt and an Ahi tuna burger (Deeee-Licious) whilst Mr. Pants ate a pickle like it was going out of style.
After a poopy blowout (names will not be named) we drove back up to the trail head. After lubing up the baby with sunscreen and me peeing behind a log (only to be interrupted by a hiker, causing me to frantically zip up) we headed up the mountain to to a breathtaking spot perched betwixt The TWO SENTINELS. Really, it was breathtaking. Truly, I had to stop many times to catch my breath.
After that same person pooping their pant again, we headed back down the mountain and drove home.
When we got home I learned that there was a major earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand. This would not be big news for me, except that my mother moved to Christchurch 7 years ago, and is currently living very close to the center of town. The quake occurred at 4:30 a.m. and Mom says that they woke up to intense shaking for 2 minutes straight. She told me that she and her husband were sure that the house was going to collapse, but everything was okay for them besides some huge cracks in the wall, some broken glass and their power going out for several hours. She took her doggy, Sophie, for a walk and the shopping plaza down the street had collapsed and the streets in her neighborhood had buckled.
In the evening I prepared Mulligatawny and settled down with some Zin from Clos du Lac Cellars (super yummy)and cuddled up with Beauty and the Beast (1947).
Odd Day.
I woke up this morning with a Jonesing for a breakfast at the rustic, small, biker infested hollow known as the Kirkwood Inn so HMan, The Baby and myself made the hour long trip up the mountain, talking about our very vivid dreams involving killer whale shows and hunting John Wayne across the Texas landscape armed with only a Robin and a bad attitude.
At the Inn we took a seat at the only family friendly seat available, a booth for 10 people. We decided to share the tuna melt and an Ahi tuna burger (Deeee-Licious) whilst Mr. Pants ate a pickle like it was going out of style.
After a poopy blowout (names will not be named) we drove back up to the trail head. After lubing up the baby with sunscreen and me peeing behind a log (only to be interrupted by a hiker, causing me to frantically zip up) we headed up the mountain to to a breathtaking spot perched betwixt The TWO SENTINELS. Really, it was breathtaking. Truly, I had to stop many times to catch my breath.
After that same person pooping their pant again, we headed back down the mountain and drove home.
When we got home I learned that there was a major earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand. This would not be big news for me, except that my mother moved to Christchurch 7 years ago, and is currently living very close to the center of town. The quake occurred at 4:30 a.m. and Mom says that they woke up to intense shaking for 2 minutes straight. She told me that she and her husband were sure that the house was going to collapse, but everything was okay for them besides some huge cracks in the wall, some broken glass and their power going out for several hours. She took her doggy, Sophie, for a walk and the shopping plaza down the street had collapsed and the streets in her neighborhood had buckled.
In the evening I prepared Mulligatawny and settled down with some Zin from Clos du Lac Cellars (super yummy)and cuddled up with Beauty and the Beast (1947).
Odd Day.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Stares of Disbelief
Our Landlady is crazy. We own our house but rent the property, shitty yes, but at least we can do what we want with the house. Helen isn't crazy in the mentally ill "Shutter Island" kind of crazy way, but she recently had neck surgery and is on a high amount of pain killers which makes her, interesting, to converse with.
Yesterday I was taking Mr. Pants out for our daily walk and she approached us.
Helen: "Look at that big boy! He's almost a year now right?"
Me: "Yes, well in December, he's nine months on Friday"
Helen: "I knew it, almost a year. Is he walking yet?"
Me: "no,but he's pulling himself up to standing and he's getting stronger"
Helen: "How many teeth does he have?"
Me: "Oh, none yet, but he's teething like crazy"
Helen stops talking and stares at me like I'm this terrible person for not caring that my baby doesn't have teeth yet. She turns around and walks away. True story.
Yesterday I was taking Mr. Pants out for our daily walk and she approached us.
Helen: "Look at that big boy! He's almost a year now right?"
Me: "Yes, well in December, he's nine months on Friday"
Helen: "I knew it, almost a year. Is he walking yet?"
Me: "no,but he's pulling himself up to standing and he's getting stronger"
Helen: "How many teeth does he have?"
Me: "Oh, none yet, but he's teething like crazy"
Helen stops talking and stares at me like I'm this terrible person for not caring that my baby doesn't have teeth yet. She turns around and walks away. True story.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Vernacular
The New Modern Dictionary as According to the Clendenniak family.
Boppy: A U-shaped pillow ideal for nursing a baby on, resting a crossword puzzle on, or a laptop.
Use: "Honey, would you grab my boppy?"
Nipple: A nipple-shield used to facilitate breast feeding for a woman with "flat nipples"and her baby with a tiny mouth"
Use: (said loudly in public situations) "Oh crap! I forgot my nipple"
Turdles: Poo
Use: "Guess who laid down some turdles in his unnawears today?!"
Unnawears: Singular of underwear
Use: "Guess who laid down some turdles in his unnawears today?!"
Booghas: boogers
Use: "Hold still and let me pull these boogahs out of your face"
Gentle: Do the opposite of what you are doing with the cat right now.
Use: "gentle with Stella, baby, no grabby, gentle gentle"
Grabby: What you are doing with the cat right now.
Use: "gentle with Stella, baby, no grabby, gentle gentle"
Boppy: A U-shaped pillow ideal for nursing a baby on, resting a crossword puzzle on, or a laptop.
Use: "Honey, would you grab my boppy?"
Nipple: A nipple-shield used to facilitate breast feeding for a woman with "flat nipples"and her baby with a tiny mouth"
Use: (said loudly in public situations) "Oh crap! I forgot my nipple"
Turdles: Poo
Use: "Guess who laid down some turdles in his unnawears today?!"
Unnawears: Singular of underwear
Use: "Guess who laid down some turdles in his unnawears today?!"
Booghas: boogers
Use: "Hold still and let me pull these boogahs out of your face"
Gentle: Do the opposite of what you are doing with the cat right now.
Use: "gentle with Stella, baby, no grabby, gentle gentle"
Grabby: What you are doing with the cat right now.
Use: "gentle with Stella, baby, no grabby, gentle gentle"
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I'm So Awesome (Yes, Yes I Am)
Several Interesting Things About Me:
1: I have moved around a lot. By the time I began college I had changed households 19 times. I have lived in these places in the following order:
-San Jose, CA
-San Carlos, CA
-Needles, CA
-Belmont, CA
-San Carlos, CA
-Belmont, CA
-Mariposa, CA
-Merced, CA
-Fresno, CA
-Belmont, CA
-San Bruno, CA
-Arcata, CA
-McKinleyville, CA
-Jackson, CA
Yes, I realize that only sums up to 14 places, but I have moved to different locations within those towns. I married a man who had lived in two places his entire life. Arcata and then Palm Springs while his father was on Sabbatical for a year. He's very grounding to me. He is my home, as people become when you have no real sense of "place".
2: I am half Polish, a quarter Dutch, and a quarter Sioux. I look exactly like my mother who is the Dutch/Sioux side, but I am often told I look very Polish. Go figure.
3: I am obsessed with pencils. Mechanical Bic #2 .7 mm pencils are perfect.
4: I know all the words to the first four Pearl Jam albums, make that five including Merkin Ball.
5: My buddy Tom and I were driving from Arcata to San Carlos one Thanksgiving and he asked me what albums I knew by heart. We ended up singing Sublime's "sublime" album and Weezer's Blue Album" the entire way down, at the top of our lungs.
6: My buddy Adam and I were driving from Arcata to San Carlos the following Thanksgiving and as we passed a foggy field with the mountains poking out from behind, Coldplay's "Don't Panic" came on and we smiled at each other. Later on that drive we almost hit a half of an elk laying in the roadway.
7:Gillian Welch and I have the same pitch.
1: I have moved around a lot. By the time I began college I had changed households 19 times. I have lived in these places in the following order:
-San Jose, CA
-San Carlos, CA
-Needles, CA
-Belmont, CA
-San Carlos, CA
-Belmont, CA
-Mariposa, CA
-Merced, CA
-Fresno, CA
-Belmont, CA
-San Bruno, CA
-Arcata, CA
-McKinleyville, CA
-Jackson, CA
Yes, I realize that only sums up to 14 places, but I have moved to different locations within those towns. I married a man who had lived in two places his entire life. Arcata and then Palm Springs while his father was on Sabbatical for a year. He's very grounding to me. He is my home, as people become when you have no real sense of "place".
2: I am half Polish, a quarter Dutch, and a quarter Sioux. I look exactly like my mother who is the Dutch/Sioux side, but I am often told I look very Polish. Go figure.
3: I am obsessed with pencils. Mechanical Bic #2 .7 mm pencils are perfect.
4: I know all the words to the first four Pearl Jam albums, make that five including Merkin Ball.
5: My buddy Tom and I were driving from Arcata to San Carlos one Thanksgiving and he asked me what albums I knew by heart. We ended up singing Sublime's "sublime" album and Weezer's Blue Album" the entire way down, at the top of our lungs.
6: My buddy Adam and I were driving from Arcata to San Carlos the following Thanksgiving and as we passed a foggy field with the mountains poking out from behind, Coldplay's "Don't Panic" came on and we smiled at each other. Later on that drive we almost hit a half of an elk laying in the roadway.
7:Gillian Welch and I have the same pitch.
Five Things
Five Things You May Not Know About Me
1.I saw "The Boy Who Could Fly" in the movie theater when I was four years old. This is my earliest cinematic memory. It was at the Fashion Island Mall cinema in 1986, the mall is no longer there, but the memories of the cinema, ice rink and arcade will always be there.
2. I organize my books in my bookshelves by height, alternating from smallest to largest and largest to smallest per shelf. Sometimes I mix it up and organize by color, or by subject.
3. I know how to make paper cranes. I try and make one every night as inspired by the book "One Thousand Paper Cranes" I made H-man a crane created from a Playboy Centerfold. I don't know how to make anything else in origami.
4. I am an excellent shot. I first shot a gun when I lived in the desert and never refuse an opportunity to fire a weapon. That said, I am pro gun control.
5. I was on a swim team in my early teens, and I was very good, the best in my region for my age group. I hated it, but I still love to swim.
1.I saw "The Boy Who Could Fly" in the movie theater when I was four years old. This is my earliest cinematic memory. It was at the Fashion Island Mall cinema in 1986, the mall is no longer there, but the memories of the cinema, ice rink and arcade will always be there.
2. I organize my books in my bookshelves by height, alternating from smallest to largest and largest to smallest per shelf. Sometimes I mix it up and organize by color, or by subject.
3. I know how to make paper cranes. I try and make one every night as inspired by the book "One Thousand Paper Cranes" I made H-man a crane created from a Playboy Centerfold. I don't know how to make anything else in origami.
4. I am an excellent shot. I first shot a gun when I lived in the desert and never refuse an opportunity to fire a weapon. That said, I am pro gun control.
5. I was on a swim team in my early teens, and I was very good, the best in my region for my age group. I hated it, but I still love to swim.
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