Yummmy

This is what I ate today:

• Whole wheat toast with crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jam (ever notice how hard it is to find blackberry jam with seeds? H-man says it's because the seeds cause colon polyps, but hey, I would like the option)
• 2 hard boiled eggs, stuffed down my throat quickly. I need the iron and protein but I don't have to like eggs.
  
• Half a turkey sub with cream cheese, avocado and tomatoes. Nummy
• A Mandarin orange
• A Kit-Kat bar
• Whole wheat pita bread smeared with garlic-artichoke cheese spread.
  I thought it might be time to get past the garlic hummus considering how gassy I am the next day.
• a granny smith apple
• A southwestern type salad with corn and spicy dressing.
  
• a butt load (or 3 liters for you metric type people) of water
  
• Dried papaya spears
• frozen apple juice concentrate straight from the can.
  

I always hoped the best part of being pregnant would be the food. and the eating. and it is.

Rabbits

One of my many glamorous tasks at work is to groom an English Angora rabbit named Hufflepuff. This picture is not her, but you get the idea. I tried to get around it for about a year by saying I was allergic to her, which I very mildly am, but was called out on this and it is now a daily task. As you might imagine this includes brushing out her fur and clipping her nails, but what you might not want to imagine is me having to wash out her vulva also.
Without getting too graphic, a rabbits vulva has two deep pockets on either side of her external lady bits that collect a great amount of smegma almost daily. I'm getting a little queasy just typing this. Hopefully, you are too, because it's a disgusting job and I should not have to suffer alone.
The worst part? The smell. Sour and cheesy.

So I haven't been to work in two weeks due to an "unpaid furlough" if you will and therefore haven't had to wash rabbit vagina for two whole weeks. Today I ate bagels and cream cheese. Then I went to my OB/GYN appointment this afternoon where I was biting my fingernails and caught a wiff of something familiar, and horrific. My fingers smell like rabbit vagina. I blamed the cream cheese and went and washed my hands. It didn't work very well.
Somewhere, Hufflepuff is laughing.

The "Magic" of Pregnancy

I almost killed someone today. But I can't be blamed, they totally had it coming.
Most mornings, when I have the car and some extra time, I'll get a half sandwich, some fruit a cookie and a drink from the Co-Op for my work-time feedings. When I got in line, the cashier, an evil, elderly gentleman who, several months ago, I had a conversation about Cliff Bars with, saw me and recognized me. He then picked up the rubber-grocery-delineator from the front of my groceries and placed in between my drink and my cookie, separating the fruit and sandwich. Mother Fucker.
It took all I had to not throttle him.
Then when I got back to the car, I began to eat my sandwich, saw it had too much mustard and started to cry.