Ah Yes.

• I go to the bathroom. I reach for the TP and realize that there is none there. I turn around and see the unraveled tanglement of TP heaped on the toilet tank. "Oh, that's right" I say to myself, "I have a toddler." 
•  I slip in antipasto and a little bit of banana. 
• I gather stares from people at the supermarket "that's right, I'm hot" I say to myself. Then I realize I have tanbark all over my ass from the playground.